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Responsibilities and Money
We live in a time when many wedding etiquette and responsibilities are often used in a more relaxed way. Many couples often pay for most of their wedding expenses, rather than the bride and groom's parents handling most of the expenses. Another example is the traditional attendant's for the bride and groom. In the past a bride would never have a male attendant, or the groom have a female attendant. These traditions have not been relaxed.
There are many couples that have strong feelings about having a traditional wedding, and following time honored traditional roles and responsibly. Here is a list and duties and expectations for the wedding party and the parent's of the bride and groom. Remember, this does not mean you cannot do things your own way.
The Bride
- Personally handles the Thank you notes
- Guest book and pen
- Gifts for her attendants
- Her own medical examination and blood tests
- A gift for the groom
- The groom's wedding band
- Beauty appointments for her attendants and herself
The Groom
- His wedding attire
- The bride's engagement ring and wedding band
- Gift's for his attendants
- The marriage license
- His medical examination and blood tests
- A present for the bride
- The bridal bouquet and corsages for the mothers
- All boutonnieres for the ushers, fathers and himself
- Accessories for his attendant's (ties, etc.), not including formal wear
- All honeymoon costs
The Bride's Family
- Engagement party
- Bridal dress, veil, going-away outfit
- Music/soloist for church and reception
- All photography
- Wedding invitations
- Church rental or location rental
- Flowers for decorations and bridesmaid's bouquets (not the bride's)
- All reception expenses (catering, decorations, wedding cake, beverages, tips and gratuities to staff, etc. - however, sometimes the groom's family will opt to pay for the beverages)
- Transportation to and from the church to the reception
- Their own wedding clothes
- Any newspaper notices
The Groom's Family
- Traveling expenses for themselves and the groom if needed
- Wedding present for the bride and groom (often a donation of money to help with expenses)
- Their own wedding clothes
- The rehearsal dinner
- All beverages at reception (optional, as noted above)
The Maid (Matron) of Honor
- Pays for her wedding attire
- Plans a shower for the bride or a party for the couple
- Assists the bride on the wedding day
- Is in charge of the guest book
- Attends the wedding rehearsal
- Signs the wedding certificate as a witness
- Buys a wedding present for the couple
- Makes sure the bride's going-away outfit is taken to the reception
- Pays for her own travel and accommodations (if necessary)
The Best Man
- Pays for his own wedding attire
- Pays for his own travel and accommodations (if necessary)
- Buys a gift for the wedding couple
- Helps the groom with honeymoon arrangements
- Decorates the car(s) (either with help from the groom or the ushers)
- Makes sure the groom's going away outfit is taken to the reception
- Attends the wedding rehearsal
- Usually plans the bachelor party for the groom with the ushers
The Bridesmaids
- Pay for their own wedding attire
- Pay for their own travel and accommodations (if necessary)
- Decorate for the reception and help to clean up afterward
- Attend the wedding rehearsal
- Gather up gifts and cards brought to the wedding and reception
- Often, they plan a "bachelorette" party for the bride a week or two before the wedding
- Either separately or as a group, buy a wedding gift for the couple
The Ushers
- Pay for their own wedding attire
- Pay for their own travel expenses and accommodations (if necessary)
- Drive any guests that don't have transportation to the wedding and reception
- Help to seat guests at the wedding
- Either separately or as a group, buy a wedding gift for the couple
Flower Girl
- Her parents pay for an appropriate outfit
- Must attend the rehearsal
- Walks in front of the bride in the processional
- Walks behind the bride and groom in the recessional
- Does not stand in the receiving line
Ring Bearer
- Parent's pay for his wedding attire
- Carries the ring(s) which are securely tied to a pillow (often, the best man will hold the real rings and two fake rings are placed on the pillow)
- Attends the rehearsal
- Proceeds the flower girl in the processional (or can walk with her)
- Walks with the flower girl behind the bride and groom during the recessional
- Does not stand in the receiving line
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